. Artisic Differences. Just Might Be Indenial.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 @11:57 PM

Yesterday.

6.45 am. Woke up. Softball. Cheered. Lost voice. :( Can't speak right now. Joey said my voice very cute. :D Mix with softball friends. Sara bought a drink for me.

2.00pm. finished Softball.
Went for dance practise at school. Rehearse the choreography. Shake ass. Yuck.
Damn. There were so many people.

Fooled around with friends. Laugh hard. Doing cheer routines, taught Ruth. Did star jumps, to herkeys, to T motions.

Vanessa and Sharlyn posing, I ran away. Vicky took pictures. Doing 'shuffle' at LP. Vicky taught me SHUFFLE. laugh laugh laugh. Compared skin, R said I look like those Matsalleh people who tanned their skin. I think she meant my skin is dark.

Went for reccess. Met my gang. Talked for a few minutes. Hardly anytime to ask them what's up. Walked with Sara, asked her how was it.

Joey promised to call me.

Went back home.

Went mamak. Came back. Sent Joey an sms saying 'Waiting for your call. Call I'm desperate for your voice' :D it's from a song lyric from Secondhand Serenade. She called me back. WOHOO.

I got an A for my Art. Uhh. Which I completed in 20 minutes max. It's ugly. Even I, can draw WAAAY better than that. Who know's why teacher complimented me.

I'm the only one who got an A. It's either me, who's gifted with such talent. Or it's either them, who sucks in drawing. Opps, I meant to rephrase that.

Great. I'm being so Perasan again.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 @4:08 AM

I've just joined a dance together with Vanessa, Sharlyn, Shahsfiny and the morning sections, P and R were there, teaching us the dance moves. The type of the dance is "New Jazz" Where it includes hip hop in a little section. Lots of buttshaking. HOW EMBARRESSING. Anyways, I thought our school don't allow these kinds of dances.

Right next to us practising is those breakdance performance, T, W, B and all are in. WOW, I'm filled with green envy and jealousy, how can guys get all the fun?

The other side was hip hop. Not that amazing, but I gotta give them some credits, my friend said they were very 'LC' Maybe it will turn out great, I think they would.

Softball practise today was totally crazy, I wanted to die. Yes, my poor left hand agreed with me. As I have ball phobia, my friend complimented me on my tossing, throwing, but never on my catching. I suck in catching. But maybe I can work up on it since I have plenty of time.

Dance practise tomorrow is on first and second period of school, I might not be able to attend as I have softball practise, BUT I WOULD WANNA GO FOR DANCE CLASS TOO.

Honestly at first, I asked my friends to join with me, they bailed at the very last second cause they said they didn't have time and their mom wouldn't let, DAHLAH exam is so near.

But my dad said, if I don't experience all of this, I don't think I would have the chance in the future.

My friends said I was crazy for taking up martial arts, bowling, olahraga, dancing, softball, cheerleading. I dropped martial arts already, for the sake of bowling, I swear I just lost a hundred kg's on my shoulder, I feel so much more free! But on saturdays I will go to the gym, work out, afraid of feeling any more fatter. Lumps of fats, must be thrown away. MUAHAHA.

Back To The Street Where It All Began.

Sunday, April 27, 2008 @7:27 PM

IR DAY.

Ir night was splendid! It was fun. but at times it was kinda boring, when we had to wait for the food, My stomach was grumbling.

When we entered the room, it was packed, we didn't know where to sit, what if they didn't like us sitting with them? I thought.

We took an empty slot, quite distant from the stage. but it had a good view. Lighting= BAD. Right after that, the table filled up fast. Boys. But some of them were just intentionally teasing me, trying to make my day bad.

I didn't mind, it's just, these ARE boys, their minds are merely the size of ours. They're childish behaviour makes it hella fun, but it was too much, There was this idiot who ruined everything and spoilt the whole fun.

He was my classmate, And I, was shocked, staring at him, partly in disbelief, giving him a look of indifference. " What the hell is wrong with you?!" I stood up, felt like pulling off the strands of my hair, after watching his kid-like behaviour when he threw temper. I swear I could slap him.

He looked as if he could cry. Why? Probably because we never bothered to interact with him.

I dont want to mention his name, but he's just, never like the guy I saw in him the years before.

Took very few pictures, bad hair day. But still, I recieved compliments. :D

I guess it wasn't that bad.

Softball practise.

It was great. Caught the balls, missed the softballs, ran here and there. Waiting impatiently, exhausted, 4 hours of training.

So, I got called for softball, it wasn't as easy as it seemed, it's exactly like what I expected it to be, it was fun. Many of them taught me, I still can't get the swing right, I have ball phobia ever since J tossed me a ball and hit my cheek bone. It's swollen, but barely noticable.

My puppy looks like a plushie, and everyone was trying to grab it away. Ruth, Joey, Ris and I. We had lots of fun.

Thursday, April 24, 2008 @8:17 AM

My bloody packed schedule. How am I suppose to add anymore activities?

WOW. I'm totally booked each day. It's so exhausting and I feel so overstressed.
My heart is beating two times faster. My head feels crammed and painful; as if someone's hammering my brain again and again. Shudders.

I took up basketball, my legs felt more muscular. OH GOD, I'm becoming a MAN.

And I took up another Sport, Softball. Today was my first, ever training. Oh, I skipped bowling after that, cause I WAS SO FREAKING TIRED.

Oh, and My chipmunk teacher isn't teaching me anymore. OMG FJEWJ@JMMWEOFJ. He's so Freaking cute. I love him,

And my moral teacher is the same age as my sister, Both of them know each other, and He asked me 'Are you stefanie's sis?' And my jaw dropped. I replied ' Yes! ,How did u know?' And he said That he was in the same class as her. Ris told him that she looked as hot as ever now. His name is Mr Seah.

He is a very very very nice guy. Today we had to write an essay for the gotong-royong the other day, we were snatching the 'penyapu'. I won over Edric. He was a total chicken. hahahaha.

Not to mention he has a crush on someone. Hahaha.

We talk to the chipmunk teacher today, We couldn't remember his name, So shahsfiny said ' Teacher, I can only remember your face, I dunno Your name' And He was like 'No, You cannot remember my face, you can remember my teeth' And I was like ' HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHaHAHhAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHaHaHaHAHAHHAHAHAHAHaHAHHAHAH'
And IT was so true. Because he said he knew everyone calls him Chipmunk behind his back. And he said he was used to it because his friends teased him that. I felt like crying out of the sake of laughing.

He is extremely cuteee! AHHHHHH! Everytime he smiles it feels like heaven. HAHAHAHHAA. AWWWW. And then He said My drawing was very good, and he said to me 'OHHH, So you're the Sandy the people were talking about' And I was like, huh? Then he shrug it off and said ' Nothing.' And he gave me his cute smile again! GAHHHH @_@

I'm having fun in my class right now. Oh, everyday is a great day. Haha. I guess when I laugh, I laugh hard, And when I get moody, I get really pissed, as what Joey Said.

Back To The Street Where It All Began.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008 @10:03 AM

Oh, definitely, not so.. I really think That life is extremely superficial right now.

Alright, so maybe she's weird, so What? I mean, it's just that, why must all of us depend on our looks, just to be, somewhat, attractive? Is that the horridly, eye-stinging word that everyone wants to be? ATTRACTIVE?

Just to get someone's attention?

What? Guys are blind. They could never see what you've done for them. They would never realise you unless you look good. This fact is totally true. My friend, K just said that her bestfriend had a crush on this guy, but he doesn't like her back. Because of what, SHE's UGLY. WOW, as If he's all that.

Look at guys,all they can ever do is just criticize girls on how their outer appearance look like. What about the inner? that's the most important. But on the other hand, the girl's are those who judge them by their personality, either humble, or somewhat, maybe the other way round.
GODD. I CANT STAND IDIOTS.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My photography skills. Not bad, eh?

( I got an advice from my goodfriend that praising yourself will give you high confidence on yourself. It's healthy. ) HAhahaha.

This Saturday There Is IR Day.. Anyone interested? Hahaha. I am going. And I hope it would be.. Alright.

Hmm. Today was fun, Managed to PJ. Everyday is fun. Just that, I think I'm lack of sleeping. Oh god, I think I am.

I am panda-eyed. Totally bizzare.

Did you know, my gang was ridiculously retarded as we banned ourselves from singing today?

(ESPECIALLY RISSARA aka. SI GAJAH)

Just because we're scared it would rain from our painful high, and out of tone voice. Hahaha. Guess what? It rained, but it was during our KH, right before reccess. It was hella fun. And guess what else? Im joining the softball team. For experience?

Yes. For Certificate? Yes.

What else?

We're eating secret recipe cake for KH class. Teacher wants to see our manners, so we are getting a cake and ON FRIDAY, WE FEAST! MUAHAHAHAHA. It's kinda cool though. :)

Can you spot me? I'm freaking ugly in this picture. Hahaha. So. At least my face is there! ,HAHAHAAHA. This is pasted on my club's board. I just wanna show it off.

Oh, Sara just said I look weird in Standard 6, Like a typical Chinese girl, and now she said I look way way way wayWAYY WAY WAYYY better just because I'm damn damn damn darker, and I'm darker? Darker= UGLY GAYASS.

Lol, GODDAMNIT I wish I was fair. :'(

Back To The Street Where It All Began.

@4:42 AM

Look how fair I was a few months ago.. :(

Monday, April 21, 2008 @9:15 AM

Saturday

It was a not-so-busy day. Haha.

My daily routine was disrupted by something seemingly fun yet there was nothing to brag about. ONE UTAMA BABYY.

Brenda , Joey And I were the only girls as you can see, we were the Coolest. Hahahahha.

We watched Definitely Maybe. Actually, Yes, I agree, it might not be 'SO Very Interesting', but it has very touching moments that could make you tear, as well, as they would explain how Difficult to lead a life with or without a lover.

It's about a guy who fell in love three times, And he screwed up, And then she screwed up.

But he ends up with the expected girl, with the oh-so-obvious brunette who was so outstanding, as well as outspoken.
"I like you. but like is such a small word, On the other hand, Love.. Love is a strong word, when you hear it you would want to run away from it. You would run away from me."
I fell in love with this phrase from Definitely Maybe, Some sort of it was on my mind, Oh, But I just wrote it according to what was placed in my mind, it might be totally out, but I tried my best to write what I remembered. Hahahaha.

We went bowling, I did not play, however, as I have practises three times a week, I am over-stressed because of it. I might hate it, but some part of me loves it.

Oh My lovely Donuts. ICE BERG is what Joey And I find the most delicious. Okay, maybe one of the most delicious. I can't resist temptation of donuts. I'll probably end up extremely plum and no one would marry me. Hahaha.

We went to starbucks to get a coffee. WOW. HEAVEN. OH. Joey and I paid RM15 I think. But it was heavenly.

No, we did not take any pictures, but the guys were trying to snap our photos at some point, I evade, only can see my sexay back. Hahahahhahhaa.

Sunday. I stayed back home. Was not allowed to go out, as I had to finish my homework. :/

*Yawn.

Friday, April 18, 2008 @10:50 AM

This was one of the best thing that ever happen to me.
And somehow or rather, it's gone.

Today was really fun.

I went for OLAHRAGA. Well, it was cancelled but I went anyway. So I ran around the field for
5 rounds non-stop! I was trying to beat Brenda Panda's record, and I was very proud! Hehe.
Then I cooled down and ran 'Lari Pecut' with Sara for awhile. Hoho. Guess who won?

I was laughing hard every five seconds. And I SAW THE KB-IANS TODAY.
IT WAS damn fun!

As I get to see my old classmates, and my friends from tuition, I also made new friends.

The KB-ians are rather supportive, as for the malurians (guys) are like shit. No offence, but most of them are, (as in the first class) As they are such immatures, some of them are still teasing me and calling me bad names, I will chase them and whack/pinch them. Embarressing to admit. But true.Can't believe it? Of course you can't, I'm really different if you don't know me well.

So.. Anyways, Meryl saw me and we talk talk talk with the other people, and she was like, "Sandy so punk" And then she gave me the ALL KNOWING LOOK.

And then I saw de Ham Choi, Jo Ee, Jin Shing, Teong Liang, Praveen again!

Oh, Teong Liang said I was ganas, And then I pinched him. Praveen called me a tomboy, and then I whacked him. And then I did a facial thingy, it was BEFORE and AFTER. It was so EMBARRESSING! My BEFORE was the ugliest shit on earth, they clipped my hair up and I didn't dare to look into the mirror, AND everyone crowded, Redza WAS laughing at me, with that annoying face of his. And the rest was looking... And I got so malu.

So Then the man wanted to take my picture for the BEFORE. I kept on looking away because I knew I would look HIDEOUS. But he didn't let me get away with it, So At the end, I gave up.. :(

After the treatment, the guy took another picture, I gave the same facial expression, as if that picture was going to be exposed into the internet where everyone can see. LOL! My after look was good though, It didn't make me flinch. lol.

So..Praveen said something evil again.. And I chased him, everyone was like grasping my shirt as if I was going to kill him, and then Guan Shen hitted my head with his file, as if I was his daughter, And I manage to whack him in the end.

Teong Liang was daring me to say to one guy that 'I love him'
And I was like... 'Uhhh. You do it then I do it. Why don't you ask *** first?'
And he was like... EWW. That PIG?!
and I was like.. OMG. U're so evil! She's not a pig! She's nice.
But I don't think he found me convincing.

it was so immature of him.. but.. oh well. I was too.

And then He dared Joey, and then I think the guy liked Joey because After that, he kept on giving her glances, OMG. It's so obvious. and hillarious.

He was looking at her every five seconds. HAHAHHAHAHA. And I was observing because it was so amusing.

Sara got an admirer on that day, but he's Not exactly good looking.. :D

When we reach back to the school, it was the last period, my class wanted to ponteng, but we couldn't because the teacher saw us, So.. I never meant to bragggg, but those who missed it, missed the fun.

I WAS DAMN SAD CAUSE I DIDN'T BRING MY CAMERA! It was very Merugikan. Sobs.

So, later that, I went for bowling practise. My finger got injured so I had to wear a bandage before bowling. :) It's so cute, my dad bought pink for me.

On Friday, sometimes I skip bowling lessons as it is just training, and it's for free. So, sometimes, I might go gym, and basketball.

at the same time my parents are having their ballroom dancing, and I would go and watch after my lessons. It's pretty cute to see the other two couples dancing.

The grown ups there like to tease me. Always, when I'm with my friends/boys. Because in the club, I don't really know any girls, maybe the most would be only 15. lol. How miserable. :( That's why I always ask my sis to teman me, SHE WOULD NEVER EVER EVER.

LOVES!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008 @7:32 AM

Wednesday

Went to olahraga. Ran AND ran and ran. I couldn't stop to even catch my breath. Brenda ran extra three rounds before I came. I AM GONNA SALUTE HER. HAHAHAHHA.

Can you believe it? I think I'm gonna Die. And the guys were awesome, they ran EVEN MORE.

There was a dog... Chasing me at the field..
When I was running... IDIOTIC DOG..

Although it was kinda cute..

I mean.. I wasn't scared of it, just that it kept on chasing. GOD.

I'm in yellow house. :) With Joey.

Sunday

I went to Kajang after Cheng Beng with Heidy and her family. So next to the Restaurant was this clothes shop that I couldn't keep my eyes off it.The clothes were two times cheaper, maybe three! At least RM12. In one utama, It's RM29

I only bought three, since my mom wouldn't let me get the nicer ones.. The ones which had funnier words on it. :(

These words are from the Pussy Cat Dolls song lyrics.. Hahahaha.

Saturday

Went club. Took a few pictures, just because. Haha, I wen't to the badminton court to watch my dad and his friends playing. Then, I wen't to the gym. Ran non-stop, But honestly, during the first five minutes I felt like pee-ing.. HAHAHHAHAHAH.

Cheers.

My life might be almost not that great.

But I do not wish it to be more than this.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008 @7:39 PM

Artist: Low Millions
Album: Ex-Girlfriends
Title: Eleanor

Fine, I understand, okay with me, if thats the plan.
You can take the stereo, the TV and the video, the bed the sheets and pillows, before you go.
But for now, unlock the door, what are we doin' all this for?
Let me make you dinner one last time, then you'll go your way, and I'll go mine.

And I won't call you baby, anymore, won't call you baby, like I did before, won't call you baby,
anymore, Eleanor.

You left your smell, you left your taste, you left me here with my mistakes.
And I can't relate to what you say I've done, but just for you, I'll bite my tongue.

And I won't call you baby, anymore, won't call you baby, like I did before, won't call you baby,
anymore, Eleanor.

Eleanor I miss you, Eleanor be well, Eleanor I wish you'd release me from your spell.

Monday, April 14, 2008 @8:27 AM

"The hardest part, is letting go. "

My mum and I during my birthday celeb.

Just reposting pics.

I think I fell in love with this picture.

Oh, it's so hard for me. To let them go; to let them see. To let them be.

"Like any other kind of love, friendship can be lost within our lives due to neglect or anger or, sometimes, simply circumstances. However it is lost, we often lose a part of ourselves that can never quite be recovered."

'In most ways, friendship between teens isn't any different than friendship at any other time in our life. Still, adolescence is a tumultuous time, and teens often rely on their friends to be the only ones in the world that seem to understand them. And that can only serve to strengthen an already powerful bond.'

Honestly, I am glad that all of us had become really packed tight, and sealed. To Brenda, I am especially happy because we never really met that friendship line before, until now, as we are still sometimes a little rough on the edge. I just can't seem to find myself so emotionally torn up inside.

Joey, you're a really true friend. I don't know what I can do without you, and thanks for letting me copy your homework. :)

To Rissara, you're one of a kind, you're loud, and funny, and you're english is a little,.... broken? Hahahhahha. That's why I love making fun of you, You're my white elephant, and you're a little gay sometimes.

And that's when I found a fault to smile. :)

Thanks guys, for understanding me and my petty desires, my breakdowns.

I remembered, once, I cried in school, and in order to cover it up, I said, " Guys, Don't act so obvious, I don't want anyone to know." Then my friends looked at each other panickingly and we all started laughing out loud till my tears came out even harder.

That was once, and the other time was when Joey was the victim.

So cheers to us. And our new year. To our new friends. To our gay partners and the new memories together.

Oh, and honestly, there's this freakingly amazingly lame asshole who's trying to be cool, by copying Joey and I, in many circumstances,

and yes, I'm not afraid of forcing out the skeleton in your closet if you don't stop it, I would even dare to post your name in my blog.

You should know who you are, so yeah, like what Joey said, BE ORIGINAL. Don't be so irritating. Although, honestly, I've disliked you before, but then I thought you changed, BUT I GUESS YOU DIDN'T. You lied to me and your other closer friends, and You never thought of yourself as being so dishonest, there's no point you lie. I WILL HATE YOU EVEN MORE. Because I caught you in act two times already.

Today, my family and I sent my big sis to the bus station near 'The Mall' after my bowling training, I was supposed to go 'Mamak-ing' with my bowling friends(as usual) , but sadly, I had to turn them down.

She'll be back on Thursday. Sob. :(

Sunday, April 13, 2008 @7:39 PM

@7:02 PM

Sillouhette. of maybe the times we felt; to be apart. This was on Saturday.

This was on Wednesday.

The rest of the hectic day. Look at Joey, she looks like she wants to karate chop someone's ass.

Three of us, dark. Superstition always say the middle person would go away. :(

The gang. The smiles on our faces.

Prefects. And us.

My school, looks like Heaven in this picture.

Can you spot my name? Haha. Number two! :)

Nope, no one's ready. Hahahaha.

Cow, someone painted it on the wall. Good job. :) Reminds me of Sara.

Look at Them. They look so sweet!

Sara and I. :) Yum!

Back To The Street Where It All Began.

@1:50 AM

Shadow.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rD7tM-XouiI

I was six years old
When my parents went away
I was stuck inside a broken life
I couldn't wish away

She was beautiful
She had everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for the door

Somebody listen please
It used to be so hard being me
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream

Trying to find a hand to hold
but every touch felt cold to me

Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My chains are finally free

Don't feel sorry for me

All the days collided
One less perfect than the next
I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best
Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity

So if you're listening
There's so much more to me you haven't seen

Oh, my life is good
I've got more than anyone should
And the past is in the past.

Back To The Street Where It All Began.

Confession

I’m beginning to regret,
How it all started in the end.
And how it all ended like the start.
As if it was never even more.

As though as my feelings would not retort back
As though my heart still belongs to him,
Maybe that’s the reason I would not let in.

Maybe you would not; never see,
As though as I would never ever be,
You are not me, as I am not you,
And we will not; never meant to be.

Maybe I just hate the fact you weren’t made for me.

Maybe it will never end
No more times together, last glances,
No more stares back behind,
Oh, it almost made my tears on high.

This is my confession,
It’s not like any other,
This time it’s for real.

Maybe just one last glance,
But it would never pay off,
For the damage I caused
For my heart might be forever torn.

No more footsteps,
Maybe I would not see you again,
As I would act as if I do not know you,
And that shall be it,
As that was how I would have wished,
If only wishes come true.

Oh, I guess this is how it ends,
No touches, no fined love notes,
No dotted hearts after every signatures,
No song lyrics, no more skipped heartbeats.

I wrote this. and it's (100% original)

- Sandy

Friday, April 11, 2008 @9:12 AM

Well, it's pretty obvious that I'm not interested in all of this stuff. I HATE GUYS, I HATE IMMATURES. I'D RATHER TURN OUT LESBO THAN EVEN THINKING OF LIKING UNCONTROLABLY CHILDISH, utter IDIOTIC Freaks like you!

And to this freak, go to hell.

What the heck mann. What's your bloody problem. I'm actually proud that I have the confidence to talk like that, you have no right in looking down at someone like me. I'm satisfied the way I am, I am straightforward, I like it, even if you call me ugly, do you think I will jump off a cliff? OH PLEASE. I am not afraid to hurt any of your feelings.
And to someone I know.
I take back my words, I've known more than four guys who actually got mad at me for not liking them back. So, these are immatures, I won't go for you as I have better things to do on my own.

I am not an ordinary girl who needs a boyfriend.

No, I am more than that. I don't think you are someone to judge me just because I don't share the same intentions. Back off, you're messing with the wrong girl.

I am not afraid to tell you, don't give other people the wrong idea, I won't run away if I told you to wait, just for me.

Bloody liars.

***

Anywayss...

my day was exhausting.

Haha... I missed olahraga..

Sorry Brendaa Panda.

And then, I have to miss cheer practise tomorrow..

Which sucks cause I really miss it..

And Then I have Cheng Beng on Sunday,

So I have to miss my hip hop class.. :(

SOB

The rest of my presents:

Ashiqin's gift to me! :)